
the hornitologist
WILL MY CLANDESTINE EVER BE BACK?
SOAP, SEX & FIRE

Hell hath no fire like a soap opera sex scene. Isn’t that right, people?
For those of you who like to pretend that you have never laid eyes on a soap in your entire lives, here’s a little bit of trivia that you'll never need or use. It appears that no couple in soap opera history—whether clandestine, engaged or married—could ever engage in sexual activities without the scorching aid of a roaring fireplace or the waxy glow of a thousand candles. From a hornitologist’s point of view, the association between sex and fire is primal and also elementary in its attempt to efficiently convey the feeling of two hot, sweaty, writhing bodies
do you have to be crazy to be committed?

Alright, people, here’s a good one. Whenever we talk about relationships, most of us tend to equate commitment with monogamy. But how innate is monogamy to the human species? How natural is this one-mate-for-life business for us really? Apparently, not one bit.
THE POWER OF LUST

Alright, people, let’s take a look under the hood of life, shall we? See that chrome, roaring beast, revving up like Grease Lightening? That’s Lust, the driving force behind basic human behavior. If you think for a second that you’re immune to its irresistible pull, think again. Lust makes everybody’s world go 'round even faster than money because money is a byproduct of lust, not vice
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