Although the bone of contention had a lot to do with sex, the Trojan war did not happen over a box of condoms. Legend has it, the moment Paris of Troy laid eyes on beautiful Helen of Sparta, he was fucked, literally and otherwise. Helen was the young, sexy wife of King Menelaus. When she and Paris eloped off to Troy, Menelaus launched a want-my-bitch-back campaign of epic proportions (see Homer’s Iliad). Paris eventually wound up as a casualty of the war on Trojans, while his one-time clandestine lover was handed down to his brother Deiphobus, who eventually was killed by the tenacious Menelaus in Troy, The Sequel (coming to a theater near you?)