"CLANDESTINE" [rhymes with Valentine] n.: Secret Lover, Unofficial Sexual Partner.

From Clan-des-tine adj.: Secret, Covert, Hidden.

Since the beginning of time, Clandestines have played a pivotal role in the evolution of lustful, loving and libidinous sex. Not surprisingly, the most memorable couples in history, literature and mythology were clandestine lovers, who carried on their torrid trysts behind the backs of spouses (Tristan & Isolde), parents (Romeo & Juliet) and the occasional fellow priestess (Hero & Leander).
Many of us today tend to automatically link Clandestines with infidelity, as if only a previous engagement, or marriage, could justify the desire, or need, to keep a relationship under wraps. However, in reality there are oodles of reasons for a secret affair to remain such, none of which involve a scorned significant other.
Right off the top of our heads, here’s

TOP TWELVE REASONS TO KEEP IT CLANDESTINE

12. PROFESSIONAL (lover is boss/subordinate/colleague)

11. RELIGIOUS (news of lover’s different faith would instantly propel a stroke epidemic through the family)

10. CLASS (lover is pool boy, gardener, driver, housekeeper, nanny, in other words, “the help”)

9. SOCIO-CULTURAL (lover looks hot, but sounds dumber than a bag of hammers)

8. ESTHETIC (lover’s too fat, too ugly, too bald, or too tacky)

7. ETHNIC (see Religious)

6. GENDER (you or your lover is gay and still in the closet)

5. AGE (lover is waaay too young or waaay too old)

4. GENETIC (lover’s a relation; in which case, you might want to switch to a more suitable site, such as www.redneck.com or www.kissingcousins.com)

3. BIOLOGICAL (lover belongs to a different species; in which case, you might want to switch to a more suitable site, such as www.bestiality.com, www.cumbarn.com or www.farmho.com)

2. VIRTUAL (lover is an avatar).

1. MECHANICAL (lover is an appliance, a battery-operated device or an inflatable doll… hey, It happens).